Ever since Eve’s womanly temptation cast Adam out of his paradise, women were cast into the role of being inferior to men. Past marriage vows for women were to “love, honor and obey” their husbands. Women had to think of their husbands as their kings whom they had to serve in every way possible. In the 21st century these roles are no longer present. Women can decide whom they want to marry, when they want to marry, or if they even want to get married. Most importantly, they can decide to divorce their husbands when they deem it necessary. However, as much as I want to believe that this holds true for every woman, it does not.
This topic of concern was stirred on by Tiger Woods’ recent sex scandal and Elin Woods’ decision to stay married to him. It’s not only Elin, but there have been numerous women in the public eye who have chosen to “stand by” their man after they have been caught cheating. Some notable examples are Hillary Clinton, Vanessa Bryant, and before this year, Elizabeth Edwards. I do not understand why these women decide to stay with their husbands after their betrayals have been made known to the entire world.
The choice for these women to stay with their husbands certainly helps their husbands maintain a good public image. The public was willing to accept Kobe Bryant’s apology because his wife, Vanessa, stood by his side. Of course, there was something in it for her too, as was evident by her $4 million, 8-carat diamond ring. Tiger Woods is using his scandal and saying he is rehabilitating. If his wife, Elin, didn’t stay with him, his public image would be much harder to rebuild. Elin, again, has received monetary benefit in the form of a mansion in Switzerland.
No matter the financial encouragement, these women have consciously chosen to stay with their husbands even after their dirty, cheating secrets have been revealed. Even though I commend those who try to work on their marriages, I feel like these women lose a great amount of dignity when they choose to stay with their husbands. In this day and age, I would hope that women would feel like they no longer have to “love, honor, and obey their husbands until death do they part.”
There really is no knowing why these women make this decision. Is it merely because marriages in the public eye have a certain standard to uphold? Is the reason to uphold good public relations? There is no way of knowing, but I hope more women choose to do the right thing when their husband’s blatantly betray them. I hope that more women take a cue from Elizabeth Edwards. 
She has decided to divorce John Edwards. She recently spoke at Nova Southeastern University. When asked if there was one thing she would change about her life, she replied: “I know the answer…I think you do too.” She so coolly and respectfully told the truth. I hope that more women can find the same strength to do what Elizabeth Edwards has done. I hope they understand that it is no longer necessary to stick to the stereotypical “good wife” role that has plagued women for so long.
Effective Response 
What a great quote by Elizabeth Edwards. I have a feeling that won’t be the last time we hear that. At least if anything positive came from the marriage, that we might know of publicly, it’s that it allowed her to have the kids she holds so dear and now the political influence to shape issues she’s passionate about. And now a classic quote.
You raise a good question… Why do these wives stick with their husbands?
Is it because they truly love them? Or is it because they don’t want to miss out on their unique lifestyles?
Even if it was the latter reason, if they choose to stay with their husbands, I do not look down on them too much. For some individuals, lifestyles are just more important than love.
If spouses choose to stay with their husband or wife even after a betrayal that gives me hope for marriage – that divorce isn’t always the answer. But divorce has become so common these days that people seem to think it’s ordinary and there’s nothing wrong with it. Then you start to see all the broken families that result from it – the kids who grow up without a mom or dad in their life. There are somethings that only a dad can do and some that only a mom can do for the kids.
And if the only marriage that’s supposed to remain whole is the one without any betrayals, then how many marriages are ever going to last? I bet none would, since no one’s perfect. But it’s when you’re able to work through issues instead of giving up at the first act of betrayal that relationships get stronger.
Isn’t that how the plot of most chick flicks runs these days? Guy meets girl, and the match seems made in heaven. Then the guy does something stupid and the girl leaves him. The guy gets some sense into his head and through some outrageous act of public shame or daring physical feat, he begs to her to take him back, that he’s sorry…she resists at first, but then finally accepts him back and they live happily ever after. And everyone loves a good romance like that, don’t they? Obviously the ideal is that men learn to remain faithful to their wives, but if the women never offer second chances, how many potentially beutiful love stories are killed in the making?
For these women, I doubt the only reason for their staying is for money or to maintain public image. What about the relationships that were formed long before either of them ever got famous or into a position of power? Surely it was love that brought them together?
As you mention the story of Adam and Eve at the beginning of the post, despite Eve’s betrayal, Adam still chose to stay with her. Obviously he didn’t have any other choice of women! But I think that speaks to the point – if you commit to someone, you stay with them no matter what; just because there are other options available doesn’t mean you should abandon your first choice. Paradise Lost by Milton is a beautiful rendition of this idea.
If the marriage isn’t worth saving in the end, why was it ever made in the first place? These issues are far more complicated than presenting an image of weak-willed women. More power to the wives, and shame on cheating husbands! But it seems to me that true strength and independence is shown if you can first of all find a spouse who will remain faithful to you, and even if they do cheat on you, you cared about them enough in the first place to fight through the situation in order to stay with them…change them! Fighting for something shows more strength than running away from it.
You say: “In this day and age, I would hope that women would feel like they no longer have to “love, honor, and obey their husbands until death do they part.”” I agree with you to a certain extent on the ‘obey’ part – a relationship has to be a mutually respectful partnership, not a dictatorship by the man. But if there’s no love and honor between them?
Besides, it was the men who broke their own marriage vows to their wives to: “love her, comfort her, honor and keep her, in sickness and in health, for richer, for poorer, for better, for worse, in sadness and in joy, to cherish and continually bestow upon her your heart’s deepest devotion, forsaking all others, keep yourself only unto her as long as you both shall live?”
Of course there are many types of marriage vows, but a relationship based on nothing more than words and promises without any effort to defend and fight for the keeping of those promises, doesn’t sound like a very strong marriage to begin with.
Call me a helpless romantic, but I think too many people have lost the notion that love is worth fighting for. What other thing in life is more worthy?
I don’t know how I feel about this issue. I think it is really easy for an outsider to hear that someone cheated on their spouse and determine that thus their marriage is over and that they should get a divorce. By no means do I condone cheating, but I do not think that women stay with their husbands just as some public relations stunt to better the image of their cheating spouse. When you marry someone, you love them, and seeking a divorce and returning to a life alone, without that person you loved and trusted, is a hard and challenging demand for society to place on the woman if she believes another course of action can solve the problem. I don’t think it is fair to chastise these women who’s lives are hard enough that their personal lives are made completely public to begin with.
I understand what you are saying Kira. In a revised version of this post, I considered the fact that these women are/were in love and that’s why they might choose to stay with their husbands. The only thing is that with these specific public relationships I feel that most of these women may be staying with their husbands to maintain good public relations.
I hope you’re right, that these women who are so often worshiped by “real” people (i.e. non-celebrities) can take a stand for self-respect, as Elizabeth Edwards has done. Of course every marriage is different, and what tears two people apart might be what pulls two others back together. But watching how some of these women who are so empowered would rather get the bribes and personal – let alone PUBLIC – humiliation is just devastating to witness.